Create in Me a Clean Heart, O God (and remove the mold on the inside!)

I am spending some time in intentional silence today. For me, this means silencing social media (twitter, facebook, instagram, etc.) as well as silencing myself--choosing not to speak. Silence is a discipline I haven't practiced in a long time. But the Lord laid it on my heart this morning. Don't speak. Listen to me today. Pray, write, reflect. Listen. There's a lot of noise in my life. I am busy. It's easy to get so caught up in my schedule that I forget to be still. But it's even easier to get so accustomed to my own voice that I forget to listen.

I can think of countless conversations with friends when I have shared numerous things about myself without stopping to ask questions and listen. One sided conversations. I can also think of numerous instances when something happens in my life that upsets me and instead of withdrawing to pray about the issue and commit it to the Lord (and listening to his voice), I run from person to person sharing gossiping about the problem. In the moment, it feels like I am getting a weight off of my chest--I rationalize that it's better to release the negative feelings than to keep them on the inside. Better out than in, right? But in the long run, these conversations leave me empty. I've spilled whatever I was feeling or thinking, but there's ugly residue left on the inside, and nothing any person can say will ultimately refresh and refill me.

This morning I spent a while outside on my balcony cleaning sports equipment. Last night I discovered mold had begun to grow in several bins of SportQuest equipment. I was sad to have to throw some of the equipment away. But some of it appears salvageable. I got some advice from friends about how to clean it and went to work spraying it down with a disinfectant and wiping it off. Piece by piece. As I was working, I began to pray over the equipment. Lord, I commit what's left to you. It's not as much as I started with, but it's more than enough for you to work through. Like Gideon. You don't need a lot of tools to accomplish your will. I believe this equipment still has time left to do your will. It isn't ruined. There's still games to be played, kids to be included and encouraged. Still camps to be held...

I continued to spray and wipe each piece carefully as I prayed. Then the Lord struck me with some truth. It's not the outside of the equipment that really matters. It's not what's visible that you need to be worried about. I stopped to think. As much as I sprayed and wiped, and even if I got every trace of mold off of the exterior of each piece of equipment, there is nothing I can do about mold on the inside of a soccer or football. Lord, cleanse the inside of each piece of equipment, I begged. All I can do is reach the outside. I need you to transform the inside and remove every bit of mold from the inside out. It's not in my power to do that. Only you can.

I quickly realized this truth applies more broadly than some moldy sports equipment. How often do I focus on the exterior instead of the interior of others, and of myself? For instance, spilling my negative thoughts and feelings to other people might move an emotional mess from the inside to the outside, but it doesn't address the source of the mess--my heart. And I can do a thousand sports camps with kids, putting them through drills that train their bodies to perform athletically. And when bad behavior spills out, I can punish and discipline it by making kids run or do push ups. But that only demonstrates what kind of external performance and behavior I expect on the field. Ultimately, I can't get their hearts in the right kind of shape.

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked.Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." (Jeremiah 17:9-10, NLT) 

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7, NLT)

In the Old Testament, the people of Israel were required to sacrifice animals to atone for their sins. But the book of Hebrews in the New Testament makes the point that sacrificing animals was just a reminder of the people's sins, and it couldn't actually release them from the power of sin. The ritual or outward behavior of sacrificing an animal didn't have the power to change the heart.

Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time...[And the Holy Spirit says], "This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." (Hebrews 10:11-12, 15-16, NLT)

This is why I should bring my burdens to the Lord first, and why in ministry I should stay focused on internal, not external transformation. Just as I can't magically remove mold from the inside of a soccer ball, I also can't erase sins and transform my own heart or the hearts of others. Only God can purify the inside. Only he can take my messes out of me and refill me with his Holy Spirit. Only he can see an external behavior, make a heart diagnosis and then treat the source.

King David understood this, and I want my life to echo his prayer:

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify my from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
For I was born a sinner--
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.
Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me--
now let me rejoice.
Don't keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART, O GOD.
RENEW A LOYAL SPIRIT WITHIN ME.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.
(Psalm 51:1-11, NLT, emphasis mine)

Out of My Comfort Zone, I Can Finally See Clearly.

My name is Kristian Engle, and this was my very first year with SportQuest, and also my first ever mission trip! This post is a little bit late, but the time I spent in Baton Rouge has been on my heart all day and I thought I would write about what an eye opening experience SportQuest was for me!

On June 18, my (VERY nervous) parents watched me board my very first flight, out of Kansas City, on my way to a state I have never been, with people I don't know, for 10 days. To say I was out of my comfort zone would be an understatement. I was jumping (well, flying) head first into an adventure and I had no idea what to expect, but I was ready for whatever God had in store for me. I had expected God to move through me that week, but I never expected for him to move through me like he did.


Me on top of the LA state Capitol!

Throughout the whole Mission Trip, God showed this small town Kansas native just how big the world really is once you get out of your comfort zone. He opened my eyes to so many different things!

1. He showed me that the world is bigger than Fort Scott, Kansas. Once I was away from home, it was easy to forget about the life that I left to come to Baton Rouge. When I arrived in Baton Rouge I knew I would be working in an inner city neighborhood, but because I had never lived in Baton Rouge, it was easy to see with clear eyes the neighborhood for what it really was; just a community with kids who want someone to love on them and show them that someone cares. It didn't matter to me that I was in what was usually perceived as a "bad neighborhood," all that mattered to me was to spread God's love to all these AMAZING children and families.

2. God opened my eyes to the kids. Let me be honest here, after the first day of camp I was pretty overwhelmed. Cheerleading had 85 girls that first day with only four  coaches to manage them. They were chatty and running wild and some had a slight attitude - it really threw me off guard when I quickly realized that their first reaction to anything is violence. I didn't know what I had gotten myself into and felt awful after the first couple days because it felt like all I was doing was yelling at the kids to be quiet and to be respectful (at both the SQ Camps and the morning Gardere Initiative) to each other as well as the coaches. After talking with one of the other cheer coaches who felt similar things as me, our eyes were opened to the fact that we were raised totally differently than these kids. We only see a small snap shot of these kids' lives. We don't know how their living situations are, and  even though we thought they were being so disrespectful and wild, we realized that they might be on their best behavior for us; they might not live in a house with parents that demand the respect that we were constantly asking of them to show us. It really humbled me, and opened my eyes to how blessed I am, and how being more patient and soft spoken to these girls would be the best way to show them God's love. After God opened my eyes to this, it was a lot easier the rest of the week to make connections with the girls, and to really try to understand their lives. It was so awesome to just put myself on the "back burner" and give my whole self to serving these kids.






Kelsey and I's class at the Gardere Initiative

3. God showed me just how easy it was to spread the Gospel. SportQuest is just super cool. They take something as simple and common as sports and use it as a bridge for The Gospel. It really opened my eyes to how anyone can use their gifts to glorify God in anything that they want! SportQuest is more than just praying before and after a sports camp. It is integrating Jesus and the Gospel into everything that we do. From a verse of the week, to word of the day, to 3D devotions and positive and encouraging game play, SportQuest takes sport ministry to a whole new level, and it is AWESOME. They even broke it down for the coaches during our "training camp" portion of the trip, They helped us learn how to spread the Gospel in three easy steps! 1.Connect with the person, 2. Find Common Ground, 3. then Integrate your story with HIS story. I'm a very visual and organized person so I appreciate this little organized plan, SportQuest! Anyway, until this trip, I never knew how easy it could be to talk about God and show people Jesus! It always seemed like a daunting task but I now know that just a simple sentence has the capabilities of planting a seed in someone's heart.

SportQuest Baton Rouge was so incredible in so many ways that I could talk about it for hours. But those were just the main things that God called my attention to that I wanted to share. My time in Baton Rouge was definitely the highlight of my summer and gave me a new view of the world and of the people around me. These 10 days challenged me and stretched me more than I could have ever imagined, and I'm so grateful for the growth. You never know what you're capable of until you jump out of your comfort zone and trust wholly in God.



My position in Cheerleading is usually a Back Spot but that week I was blessed with getting to learn how to fly! Something I've always wanted to do!





Learning to Surrender

My name is Jordyn Houston and this was my first year serving on a SportQuest team. Thinking back through my entire journey with SportQuest this year, one word seems to come to mind: surrender.  Last summer when in the process of figuring out where God wanted me to go serve this summer, I had no knowledge of SportQuest and Baton Rouge was as far from my mind as it could be.  My desire was Denver, Colorado, but that just wasn’t happening this summer.  I didn’t know what to think.  How could a place that God had laid so heavily on my heart not be an option?  I didn’t understand, I was upset, I was mad.  I applied for a mission trip to Seattle, just to have to cancel my application because of dates conflicting with church camp.  At this point, I wasn’t just mad, I was furious.  I started questioning whether or not God actually wanted me somewhere the upcoming summer, or even in the mission field at all.  It was early January when one of my mentors showed me SportQuest’s Playing With Purpose scholarship.  I started searching SportQuest’s website and found their summer missions.  I started praying about it, asking God to reveal to me if this was His will, but honestly, at that point, I was desperate enough to go somewhere that I would’ve tried anything.  God confirmed my prayers when I got a phone call from one of the SQ staff members about potentially being a part of one of their missions during the summer.  As months passed on and the project dates grew closer, the more nervous I became.  This wasn’t my first mission trip, so why was I scared?  The more I thought about it, I realized that this was an organization I knew very little about.  All I really knew was what I learned through their website.  I wasn’t backing away though, not this close to the project.  After weeks of dealing with the stress of worrying, I finally surrendered over to God.  I came to the realization that He brought SportQuest into my life and that He had a plan.  I gained a peace that was like no other.  I had no more worries and no longer felt like I was going in blind.  I was excited.  I was ready to take on this new adventure with open arms.  The first few days were hard, not physically, but mentally.  I so longed to be in Denver, and that want was taking my focus off of my purpose at the time.  My purpose.  I couldn’t grasp the fact that Baton Rouge was my purpose.  I didn’t want to grasp it.  Monday night, I talked with another team member who was able to relate to my struggles.  I, once again, came to the conclusion that I had to surrender to God.  I had to surrender my earthly desires to be able to do the work God put in front of me to the best of my ability.  It took a crazy amount of faith, but God definitely rewarded me.


Reading during Story Time at Gardere Community Christian School

I was put with 6 others at the Gardere Community Christian School to assist during the morning with their summer program.  This gave me an opportunity to get to know the kids on a more personal level than just the few hours they were at camp during the evening, and meet new kids that were doing other sports than softball/baseball.  The first thing that happened each morning once all the kids arrived was a Bible story movie.  It was Thursday morning, and a 7 year old boy named Robert came and sat beside me during the movie.  The movie was over Jonah and the whale, so as we watched the movie we shared facial expressions of amazement during the unbelievable parts.  We were watching the movie, when he noticed the bracelet on my wrist.  The bracelet contained five brightly colored beads that all stood for a major part of the Gospel story.  He became curious and asked what the beads meant.  It was at that point that I got to explain to Robert what each bead represented.  From the creation of the world, all the way to the restoration those who believe in Jesus Christ will receive.  I could tell that he was understanding what I was saying, and I was able to give him my bracelet to wear as a reminder of the rescue Christ offers. 

Robert during crafts. Notice the bracelet on his right wrist.

For me, it’s amazing to look back on the week and see how God moved in me, and through me, once I surrendered myself to God’s plan for me in Baton Rouge. 

SQBR 2015: Abiding When Expectations are Shattered by Storms

It’s been a bit over a week since we finished the SQBR 2015 project, and I’m finally ready to put some words to paper…or at least to the blog (is paper even a thing these days?—haha).

The week after a project is always a hard week for a project coordinator. It’s full of loading and packing and storing, giving borrowed things back, writing thank you notes, and generally wrapping up the project. It isn’t pretty sometimes…I would share a picture of my bedroom (with 8 different equipment storage bins plus all of my clothing in the floor), but it’s in pretty embarrassing shape. The other aspect of the week after a project for a coordinator is debriefing and processing—reading evaluations and digging into the nitty gritty of what was really good about the project and what needs improvement. In Christian ministry, this is also a time of heart examination—what were my spiritual strengths and weaknesses? High points? Mistakes? Sins? Who do I need to speak with in the aftermath to follow up with, to confess to, to encourage, to seek advice and feedback from? It is important to physically wrap up a project and to store sports equipment, but it is even more important to seek a spiritual conclusion and to ask the Lord to give me and other leaders insight into the work he did during the week and the work he is continuing to do even though the event of SQBR has finished for the year.

So, when I say I am finally ready to put words to paper, I’m saying I’ve had enough time to begin to reflect on the ministry and to share a few things the Lord is revealing during the debrief process. Early on in the project, the Lord gave me a word: ABIDE. And he continued to impress the word on my heart throughout the trip (and even now). There’s layers to this word. The top layer is simply the call to be still and spend time with the Lord. Not something I am very good at because I am notoriously busy. But if you go to one of the most famous passages of Scripture where this word appears, you see it is a deeper call than simply being still or spending time in prayer and devotion:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:1-11, ESV)

The passage is Jesus speaking to his disciples. It leads into a discussion of loving one another, and is part of Jesus’ conversation with the disciples before he is betrayed and dies on the cross. It’s his encouragement for them to remain in him, to love one another, and ultimately to be unified with him individually and collectively. He also mentions pruning and persecution (later in the passage). The command to abide remains the same. Abide and take heart, for he has conquered the world! Abiding in Jesus/the Father is the foundation of fruit-bearing. He is the rock of ministry. Apart from the vine, no fruit can be produced. Apart from him, no ministry can be accomplished. He is the source.

So, why would the Lord choose this word to give me during SQBR 2015? This year more than the others, abiding was difficult. It was difficult because I had lots of tasks as a leader to complete. But that is a challenge I expected. Abiding this year was difficult because there were a lot of unexpected challenges. I was tempted continuously to respond in the flesh rather than in the fruits of the Spirit and to try to handle the challenges in my own strength rather than going to the source. Jesus promises branches that remain in him will bear fruit, but he also points out that they will be pruned and tested, and some will be thrown into the fire. Abiding does not lead to guaranteed comfort, but it does lead to fruit, to discipline, to growth, and ultimately to obedience and love. Abiding happens in silent times of prayer and devotion, as well as in the midst of chaotic storms and painful pruning.

Our SQBR team walked through some storms—figurative and literal—together. And we came out of the storms for the most part more unified. We were challenged to rely more on God as we were pushed out of our comfort zones and as our expectations were shattered. 

The SQBR team before our first Sunday worshiping together

The Lord is good and faithful, and although there were times when things felt chaotic or broken, and when my vision for the project and the schedule I had designed fell to pieces, the Lord revealed his perfect plans and his larger and clearer vision for the Gardere children and for SportQuest Baton Rouge.

Some of my favorite moments emerged from the storms, and they were more perfect than anything I could have built or designed in my own strength. Relational walls came crashing down when the SQBR cheer coaches had an impromptu worship service with a parks and recreation employee during a gym power outage. That employee, who had previously been an obstacle to our ministry opened the doors to the gym wide later in the week when continued rain caused us to need to move camp indoors. 

Cheer Coaches Baylee, Megan, Kristian, and Christina

The one day when camp was entirely rained out brought with it the opportunity to fellowship with a group of young men who were volunteering with us. Friendships were built and the gospel was proclaimed even though camp was cancelled. 

The SQBR team with the cadets, who they got to do unexpected ministry with because of the storms

Morning service projects were exhausting and frustrating at times, but the SportQuest coaches formed in-depth relationships with the Gardere children, learned their names and their stories better than in previous years, and spent more time over all with them even when the rain took away some camp time. During camp, I was over joyed to see how well the coaches related to the children, how excited the children were to see the coaches, and the ways in which the hard work of the mornings was tilling the ground of the children’s hearts, making it more fertile for the gospel.

Jordyn reading to some of the girls from Gardere during the morning service project at the Christian school

On a personal level, I learned a lot as a coordinator this year. Every single year brings with it new challenges, but this year brought extra challenges. I am learning how to ABIDE, how to trust the Lord and how to be thankful for storms and pruning that make way for his vision and work to be done in Gardere. I want SQBR to be all about him and not about me, all about his glory. Sports are a tool, and so am I. He is the carpenter, the vinedresser…the source.

Danielle (me) with one of the campers from the baseball camp

My name is Danielle & I am the SQBR coordinator and director. I am also a PhD student in Sociology at Louisiana State University and a general sports enthusiast (Geaux Tigers!). I am very thankful for the completion of our 4th summer of SportQuest Baton Rouge and looking forward to what the Lord has in store for this project and our team in the future.

SportQuest Baton Rouge - Round 2

                                                      SportQuest Baton Rouge- Round 2

My name is Kent Hinrichsen and this is my second Sportquest expedition to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The first year was a time of getting introduce to the organization and understanding what it means to use sports as a way to spread the gospel of Christ to kids. This year I was blessed to be a bible study leader and was able to focus on investing time in the lives of my teammates as well as self-examining my life. Due to this, I felt that a greater community was formed. A community of challenging others to better themselves and focusing on having Christ first in everything. Challenges such as being Christian athletes, not just athletes who are apparently Christians, presenting the attitude of Christ in every situation, moment, or trial that we endure.

One of my favorite moments this week was on Thursday during the evening basketball camp. The word of the day was "encourage" and I was struggling to find a way to incorporated the word of the day into a basketball setting (probably because I was trying to trust on my own knowledge and understanding.) I trusted God to provide a way to use "encourage" in one of the basketball drills we did. I started to think of what situation in basketball do people trash-talk or distract people the most. Free Throws. Think about it, Lance Stephenson blowing in LeBron James' ear, people yelling and throwing their hands every which way to distract the opposing player in hoping that they will miss the shot. As an attempt to change that, we had a free throw drill where everyone would encourage the shooter. It was really cool to see everyone encouraging each other instead of tearing people down. It was definitely God given.  

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

Hi, my name is Bethany Zornow, and I am from Chicago, Illinois! I am a sophomore in college, and this is my second trip with SportQuest. Last summer I had the privilege of traveling to Costa Rica with SportQuest and decided to try round two in Baton Rouge. I felt compelled to go to Baton Rouge this summer because I have a heart with working with inner city kids.

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

Being new to the team and knowing no one, or anything that is going on has proved to be beneficial. By not being informed, I've been kept open minded, and open hearted. That being said, each person is blessed with their own story.

Kids have ZERO control of how or where they grow up. Each individual has different circumstances, some harder than others. Regardless of our past or present -- we are all apart of God's family. My favorite experience here by far has been getting to know the cadets and their leaders. The cadets are apart of a program through the state called the Youth Challenge Program. They have been coming to camp each day to help us with: set up, registration, running the camps, as well as cleaning up after camp. The program they are in helps men and women get on the right path and helps them learn discipline. If these individuals didn't want to be at our camp, I surely can't tell.

 On Tuesday we endured pouring rain, this doesn't exactly go well with an outdoor camp. We attempted to have camp outside, but God quickly showed us He had another plan. Due to the weather we had to cancel camp with the kids, but not the cadets. We ended up having the cadets come to The Chapel where we have been staying this week. We were able to play games and have fellowship with the cadets and their leaders. To be able to see the joy in some of their eyes was really indescribable. Each person was so attentive and eager to speak and listen. It was fun getting to know about their lives and their family. The cadets showed us what they knew best, their physical training exercises. Man, those things were hard! I could maybe do 10 reps tops, not 50 like they were explaining.

Something else I found unique was to see how the cadets and their drill sergeants interacted. I've gotten to speak with Corporal Reines a lot, and he has such an important role in the lives of those men. If it weren't for this program they are involved in, things could be a whole lot worse for the men in this program. I really wish each state had these types of programs because I believe it really makes a difference. In addition to our fellowship, we made an impact. We had the drill sergeants wanting to come back even when they were off the clock - we even had cadets asking us to be their pen pals. I truly believe we were able to touch their lives, at least I know they touched mine.

God has a funny way of bringing people together and answering prayers. Not only do the children of Gardere need to be loved on, but so do the other people in the community. No matter the age, people want to be heard, and want to be loved. I am grateful for the opportunity to be a small part of their lives, and I hope God continues to bless them as we head back home soon.

Our efforts are making an impact!

-Bethany A. Zornow

He Works All Things for Good

My name is Christina Bradley, and I'm a nursing student from Cincinnati, Ohio. This is my third year serving with SportQuest as a cheerleading coach! I feel called to serve God in whatever missions field He places me in, and SportQuest has been the tool He has allowed me to use to fulfill His purpose in this season of my life.

On Tuesday afternoon, our athletes prepared for camp as usual. We served at our service projects in the morning, and then continued planning for clinics into the afternoon. As four o’clock came around, we packed our vans and cars full and headed to our respective fields and gyms. As a cheerleading coach, I helped my fellow coaches pull out our tumbling and stunting mats. We noticed that the rain started to fall harder, so we circled up as a team and asked our Heavenly Father to allow for safety and His will to be done with the rain.

Camps start at five o’clock, but as the clock ticked closer to the five, the rain only worsened. We received word that SportQuest camp would be canceled that evening due to severe weather.  Instead of packing up and heading home, we decided to play worship music from our dance speakers and invited some of the others in the gym to join us. One of these people was the gym administrator. This woman is someone that SportQuest had worked with a couple of times in the past, but we had not yet received the opportunity to reach out to her on a personal level.  She hesitantly said she would come sit with us for a song or two. This quickly became a full set of worship as we thanked God for the storm, even though we weren’t sure of His plan.

As the storm carried on, five coaches and our gym’s administrator lifted our voices to God. This impromptu worship session led the administrator to tears, and followed with her sharing a little of her own story with us. She prayed the most beautiful prayer over us to close our worship service, and she assured us that she would never forget our kind actions towards her on that frightening evening.  God provided a bridge to a partnership that evening, which will lead to building more relationships in the future. It was so incredible to watch God orchestrate His plan that night, regardless of what we as coaches thought needed to take place. Again, God was reminding me that He is in control and that He wants to “work all thing for good, according to His purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

The Roots of SportQuest Baton Rouge: Memoirs of the Inaugurate Year

It's 2012, and I am starting my first year at Biola University, a school I had never heard of before the day that I applied. Google searching a school name that had appeared in the whispers of my mind, after the crushing disappointment of falling short one day, in turning in my college applications to any of the big name schools with amazing cheerleading programs. SDSU, my number one choice - no longer accepting applications.

My very first straight A semester, strategic timing, a whisper, and google. That was what God had put together in His perfect timing to jumpstart my salvation, and the road that lead me to SportQuest.

I was a transfer student attending Biola University on an academic and cheerleading scholarship. I was blown away with the evident love of Jesus all over campus. I grew up believing in God and knowing of Him, but I had no idea what was about to transition within me, how I was about to build a relationship with Jesus Christ, and how He would change my dreams. I've always wanted to help people, and suddenly I had a heart for missions - I didn't realize at the time that it would be inner city missions. I had a fire for Jesus, our relationship was growing, and he gave me the heart of a leader. This quiet, shy, laid back girl that shocked everyone she met not only about her being a cheerleader, but about her being a really good all around cheerleader, wanted to lead Bible studies - I've been the cheer captain in high school and in college. I've coached cheerleading and gymnastics. Cheerleading and performing with my team was my thing. What I've never done, was speak up during Bible studies. If I spoke up in my Biblical classes, know that I had a million and one fluttering butterflies in my stomach, and I can guarantee that my voice was quiet and shaky - not something you'd expect from a cheerleader; but God likes to use the weak and rise them up. He took my passion for cheerleading. He took my passion for helping people. He took my passion for Himself, and rose me up from the ashes.

Biola University has two major conferences a year: Torrey Conference, and Missions Conference. Missions Conference is the largest student run conference, where missionaries from all over the world come to Biola. Classes are cancelled mid-week to the end of the week, so that students can attend these amazing seminars highlighting hundreds of missions. This was when I first read the name SportQuest. One SportQuest lead seminar packed with dozens of athletes in a small classroom later, and I knew their purpose and their mission, in playing with a purpose to Glorify God.

Wanting to do something, and actually taking action is a huge leap of faith. Once I embraced my heart for missions, I felt like a kid in a candy store during conference, and SportQuest was that King Sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that I was just dying to sink my teeth into.  I wanted travel the world saving people. God had other plans. The only SportQuest mission trip that worked for me chronologically that summer of 2012, and yes I just had to go that summer, was Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Now, I wasn't thrilled about Baton Rouge, Louisiana, it was definitely not the United Kingdom, but it was my first missions trip, and I was excited. I could start small, I thought. Then, then I could travel the world saving people. God had other plans.

I fell in love in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

The Inaugurate trip for Baton Rouge happened four years ago. I can't remember all of the specifics to this love story, but I promise it will have it's happily ever after.

The summer of 2012 was not only my first mission trip, but my first time as a SportQuest athlete. I had no idea that I was going on the first Baton Rouge project until after the fact! The first year, well it was rough. There were a lot of bumps in the road, but it was that first year falling in love. I was signed up as a soccer athlete, I've kicked a soccer ball a few times, and I've always been athletic. The thing was, I'm a cheerleader, that is where my passion was, but they weren't offering a cheerleading sports camp on the Baton Rouge project like they were in the UK. That's okay, I told myself, mission trips are all about sacrifice - or so I'd imagine. I just wanted to help wherever it was needed, I am an athlete - put me in coach! Well, God certainly put me in the game when day two of camp rolled around and I found myself coaching cheerleading to four girls. The next day the number of the group that I had coached grew into the double digits, and by the end of camp the number of girls that I had, had exceeded all of the other sports camps we hosted!  It looks like Cheerleading camp was a go! Biola taught me how to use cheerleading as a form of worship - and SportQuest gave me the opportunity to teach and apply what I had learned. Cheerleading isn't just about jumping up and down and screaming go team go. It is about unity. It is about respecting yourself and your body. It is about respecting your team. It is about knowing your worth.

Before our sports camp had started, our team took training and classes in leadership and in working together. I shouldn't say classes, because we really bonded. We interacted with incredible speakers from the community. We took an athletic's behind the scenes tour of LSU. We did this outrageous ropes course, with rock climbing and zip lining - if you watch Pitch Perfect 2, The Bellas do a similar if not the same course that we did! It was too fun to be labeled training, but during those moments we learned to work together. We learned the importance of communication, and therefore put our knowledge to practice. We learned how to lead, and how to follow. We learned about each other. We learned how to face our fears. We learned how to humble ourselves. We learned about Baton Rouge's culture, and people, and history. As a team, we had our bumps and scratches, but we learned how to buffer them out.

The day before the Baton Rouge project had started, the community had lost one of its members - a thriving young man who had intended on helping us emerge into the culture, had been shot. What a way to start a trip encouraging light and goodness - this community was heartbroken, and in the worst way. During my time in Baton Rouge, I have never seen or experienced so much racism and segregation, this was 2012 after all. There was attitude. There were verbal fights. There were fist fights. A life was taken on the first day, and a gun had been pulled on the last day. Do not despair. There was goodness. Hope. Love. I fell in love in Baton Rouge, with the people of Baton Rouge, and with the children, the city, the history, and the culture. Yes, there were fights, but we were able to practice forgiveness and grace. There was attitude, but we practiced unconditional love. We put our hearts on the line, and the community of Baton Rouge gave us a chance. The kids came back every single day, so I come back every single year; leaving each year with a Louisiana shaped hole in my heart.

I will never forget one of the children crying to me, sobbing, thinking that we wouldn't come back next year (because of the gun that had been pulled on that last night, ending the night unceremoniously early), "you're not coming back next year, right? We scared you off." I remember that - four years later. I can hear it, the reason I decided to come back to the Baton Rouge project in 2013, 2014, and now this year in 2015. I made a promise to those kids, those little children that hold pieces of my heart, and I couldn't bare it if I had broken that promise. Sweet baby, my love is unconditional, it is through Jesus - "So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16. The Holy Spirit lives and dwells in me, His love is unconditional, and I will not give up on you, because He never gave up on me. And I'll tell you a not so secret secret, He has not given up on you either, He never will.

In 2013, I brought my boyfriend along with me. In 2014, SportQuest Baton Rouge was the bookend of our honeymoon trip, and in 2015 we continue the project together, happily married, and striving to make a difference. As Sean and I grew individually, and as one in marriage, the SportQuest Baton Rouge project and community has grown. 2012 and a handful of SportQuest athletes had begun a movement, claiming Baton Rouge for Christ! This year we have over 20 athletes on our team, not including the volunteers. The light that shines on this city is unmistakable, and the change and growth in the Baton Rouge community has left my heart overflowing - This is how I know that this love story will have it's happily ever after. I am so thankful to be in just a small part of this change and growth a couple of weeks a year, God has blessed me immensely with Baton Rouge!

As a follow up:
In my years with SportQuest Baton Rouge, I have put aside my desire to lead bible study, forgetting about it, and focusing on other things, if I'm going to be completely honest with you. But God, He never forgot. In His perfect timing, He had waited for me to be ready. Last year Danielle asked me to co-lead Bible study with one of our other leaders, Thomas - and it was a dream come true. I was putting my passion for Jesus, and knowledge (now having completed my credits for a Biblical Studies Minor from Biola) to the test! If you're wondering how I did...I'm co-leading Bible study again this year, and mentoring one of my best friends and SportQuest sister to do the same!


I'm all in, God.

"…the righteous gives and does not hold back." Proverbs 21:26

Thank you for making me righteous through your blood!

Biola University Cheerleading 2012

SportQuest Baton Rouge 2012 Team 

The Roots of SportQuest Baton Rouge: A Letter from the Founder

This blog isn’t about me. But my story ties into the SportQuest Baton Rouge project in some really hard to fathom ways—the kind of ways that can only be directed by a sovereign God who pursues people with such determination that he makes plans and carries them out over lifetimes. Some of the stitches in his plan surrounding my life are only becoming clear as I look back over the past decade.

SportQuest is all about using sports as a universal language to communicate the gospel. Like most SQ staff, sports have been a part of my life for a long time. I discovered soccer on the playground in first grade and fell immediately in love. My first coach was a Catholic nun who coached in her full black and white nun’s habit. We called her “Coach Sister.”

I got brutally made fun of in elementary and early middle school, and soccer became a refuge. It was the one area of my life where I felt protected from the bullying, because I was really good at it. So I poured a lot of energy into soccer, and then softball, and over many years, I established my identity in my athletic abilities.

It worked well until my junior year of high school, when my left knee was injured. The roots of the injury were in a genetic condition I had been diagnosed with when I was 12. Doctors said I wasn’t made to play soccer. There was no way my body could sustain the running and twisting the sport required. Trying to prove them wrong by playing anyway, I proved them right. But one of the core qualities of my being is a stubborn determination to achieve my goals, so I went through surgery and rehab in an attempt to play my senior year and rescue my dream of playing sports in college.

In the emotional upheaval of losing my identity when I was injured and could no longer play sports for 8-9 months, God called me into ministry. Specifically, he called me to become a missionary. I ran away from the call for a while, but it got louder and louder until the lack of peace was unbearable. So I relented, and made some compromises. Instead of playing soccer, I would play softball (easier on the joints), and instead of playing softball at a public university, I would look into Christian schools so I could study missions while pursuing my athletic goals. I tried out and received a softball scholarship to Milligan College, a Christian liberal arts college in East Tennessee. They had an amazing softball program, and a Bible major, so I could follow God’s plans and my plans. Win-win. Right?

I learned the hard way God doesn’t compromise. He gets what he wants, and he wants ALL of me. ALL of my energy and attention, ALL of my affection. My goals and dreams, my abilities. My identity. I had been splitting all of me for a long time between God and sports. I wish it would have been as simple as stitching me back together again, but as a master life-surgeon, God knew some parts of me weren’t healthy. I couldn’t be fixed until I was further broken.

On graduation night from high school, I was at an overnight party at a gym. I was in full celebration mode, having just finished high school, winning valedictorian and the award for the female athlete with the best sportsmanship. While playing a game with some friends at around 4am, things went terribly wrong. I had the ball on my feet, when a teammate stepped between my legs trying to take the ball away. In the process, she threw me off balance, I twisted and, falling, popped my knee. In a single fall, I undid the surgery and over one year of rehab that I had completed between my junior and senior years. I knew immediately my scholarship dreams were over.

Over the next few days, I saw my doctor and physical therapists for the bad news. My dad sat next to me and cried as they delivered it because he knew how deep inside of me the breaking was going, like hairline fractures that spiral out further and further until the entire structure shatters. A competitive sports career was impossible. Another knee surgery couldn’t be done because of scar tissue and internal issues from the first surgery. Things might heal, but they wouldn’t be as strong.

Two weeks later, I was on my first SportQuest trip (which I signed up for as part of my compromise with God), and I was on crutches for most of the project. It was a hard 3 weeks in Ireland, trying to keep up with my team and processing all of the feelings of loss and anger from the injury. My mom told me losing sports was probably going to feel like losing a person who I was really close to. I still haven’t lost a close family member, but if it feels like having bits of yourself ripped out with a jagged knife until your soul is full of so many empty places that you finally go numb…that’s what it was like.

I arrived on Milligan’s campus in August as just a student. Not a student-athlete. For the first time in my life, I wouldn’t have the automatic friends of a sports team. It was hard during the first couple of semesters as I said a long goodbye to the person I thought I was going to become. But as I let go of that vision, God started to replace it with his. With extra time in my schedule, I fully embraced my studies and fell in love with learning. I double majored in sociology and humanities, minored in French, and studied abroad for a summer in France and for a semester in Uganda. I spent my evenings volunteering at a community center after school program for low-income kids.

In the summers during college, I continued to travel with SportQuest. The call into missions that God had given me so many years before was becoming more clear, and I could use sports for his glory more effectively when my ego wasn’t involved. After Ireland in 2006, I went to Belgium in 2007, then to Indianapolis for state side SQ projects in 2009 and 2010. Approaching college graduation in 2010, I started looking into overseas missions opportunities, assuming it was time to jump wholeheartedly into the life of ministry God had prepared for me.

But then God sent me to graduate school instead. It was an unexpected door, but God made it clear to me that it was the one he wanted me to walk through. I had no desire to stay in school, and definitely no desire to move to Louisiana, far away from family and college friends, where I knew no one and had never even visited. But God’s direction was clear, and I had already learned the hard way that there was no compromising. So in the fall of 2010, I started the Ma/PhD program in sociology at Louisiana State University.

The first year was brutal because I didn’t want to be in grad school or in Louisiana. I made plans to intern with SportQuest in the summer so I could get away from Baton Rouge to do something I wanted to do. Near the end of the spring semester, as I was making plans to leave for three months for the internship, I did a service project with some Baton Rouge friends in a neighborhood called Gardere. We were there to help give away much needed furniture and other items to low income families. But the project took place in a large park in Gardere, and I noticed lots of children wandering around with nothing to do while their parents worked with the volunteers to get what they needed.

I found a basketball and a soccer ball and in a matter of a few minutes plugged in my friends to play pick-up games with the kids. A football game soon started as well. I stepped back to observe 50-60 kids playing 3 different sports with 15-20 volunteers, and the Holy Spirit struck like lightening. I got way more pieces of God’s plan than I was usually privileged to have at one time. This is it, a voice said. I knew why I was in grad school in Louisiana. This park, these kids, my experience with SportQuest, the call into missions, all came together.

A few weeks later, I went to Indianapolis to begin the internship. I ran the idea of starting a Baton Rouge project by the director of SQ. He didn’t say no, but there was lot going on, so he wanted to think about it. The internship got busy and soon I wasn’t thinking about it anymore. After helping plan the Indianapolis project, I took off to lead a team in Ireland. I was supposed to lead for 3 weeks in Ireland and 3 weeks in Belgium, but things didn’t go according to plan.

During the middle of the final week in Ireland, I played in a soccer game in the place of a teammate who could no longer play. We didn’t want to cancel the game and lose the ministry opportunity, so I stepped in to play goalie even though I hadn’t played in a competitive soccer game for over 5 years. One of the Irish players took a really hard shot from less than 10 feet away from me, and when I threw my hand out to punch the ball away, my wrist shattered. After two days in and out of Irish hospitals, doctors decided that I needed surgery to fix my wrist. My dad decided the surgery was going to happen in Kentucky (where I grew up), not in Belgium, as I had hoped. The internship ended early and I found myself having another surgery. I started my second year of grad school in a wrist-brace, hardly able to write.

In November that year, near the end of the first semester of my second year of grad school, the director of SportQuest called. I was on campus working on a final paper for one of my classes. He asked if I remembered mentioning doing a project in Baton Rouge. Of course I did, but we hadn’t discussed it since I mentioned it briefly over the summer. Well, he said, if I could find support for the idea in Baton Rouge, he was giving me the green light to start something. I also had $1,000 left over in my account since my internship had ended early the previous summer, so a project budget was already in place.

In the summer of 2012, the inaugural SportQuest Baton Rouge project was completed. We had 11 coaches and over 200 kids came to camp. (I’ll let you imagine the chaos.) The project, in many ways, was a disaster. I had a lot to learn. The kids were wild and misbehaved. The team was overwhelmed. But even though nothing went according to my plans, it was clear that the Lord had plans to use sports ministry in Gardere to reveal himself to the kids and families in the neighborhood.

Three years later, we are preparing for our 4^th year of camp. Over 20 athletes are signed up to fly to Baton Rouge to coach (more than half of them returning from previous summers), and a strong team of Baton Rouge coordinators are working together to put all of the project details in place. (I learned the hard way that it’s better for everyone if I am not in charge of the details—delegation is amazing!) I don’t have space here to write about all the things the Lord has done to build SportQuest Baton Rouge, but I can look back and see how this is something he had been planning for a long time…putting each and every stitch carefully, and sometimes painfully, into place. 

I’m so thankful for all of the broken parts of me and the valleys of my story that the Lord used for the foundation of SportQuest Baton Rouge.

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19